Felix Gomez #3: The Undead Kama Sutra

No, it’s not an April Fools Day joke; it’s another Felix Gomez review. Why? Because once I’ve started a series, I see it through to the finish, dammit, no matter how painful it might be. Let’s flex our way through The Undead Kama Sutra, by Mario Acevedo.

Synopsis:

Felix Gomez returned from the war in Iraq a changed man—once a soldier, now forever a vampire. So the undead underworld put his skills to work as a private detective, specializing in the sordid, the sexy, and the supernatural.

After surviving aliens, nymphomaniacs, and x-rated bloodsuckers, it’s high time for a vacation. Now the aliens are back in a fiendish conspiracy with the U.S. government, and only Felix stands between them and the Earth women they covet. But when an army hit man attacks Felix and the bodacious vampire sexpert, Carmen, not even the astonishing erotic powers of the Kama Sutra for the Undead may be able to save them.

Source: Goodreads

SPOILERS BELOW

Oh, Felix Gomez series. You started off with a book that made me cringe and roll my eyes, and then you followed it up with a book that was actually kind of good, and now we’re back to the cringing and eye-rolling.

I enjoyed the second book because it told a somewhat serious story of conspiracy and revenge. The plot this time, though? Aliens want to steal our Earth women. Yes, really; and yes, it is as dumb as it sounds. I was really hooping that the implication would turn out to be a red herring and something else would be going on, like how the previous book centered around a vampire conspiracy only to reveal a human as the culprit; but no, it really was that terrible hackneyed cliche. Mars Needs Moms: now with vampires!

As for the Undead Kama Sutra of the title, it barely features in the plot at all. It’s completely irrelevant to the whole aliens-stealing-women thing, and I expect it was only include to have an excuse to crowbar sex into the plot. Now, to give the book a little bit of credit, at least it does include a sex scene; unlike the first book, which jumped up and down screaming “look how lewd and obscene I am!” while carefully avoiding including anything actually lewd or obscene. But adding in the completely gratuitous Undead Kama Sutra plot in order to have an excuse to add dirty bits to an otherwise bland book doesn’t make it more mature, it makes it more juvenile.

So, for all those at home keeping score, it’s one hit and two strikes for the Felix Gomez series. But there’s still hope – maybe it has an even/odd good/bad thing going on like the Star Trek films. Tune in next time to find out!

Final Rating: 2/5

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