You don’t remember me, but I remember you. I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you. But who can decide what they dream? And dream I do. Let’s discover Secrets of a Good Night’s Sleep, by John Selby.
Synopsis:
If you have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, youre not alone. Almost one-third of the adult population shares your problem. Now John Selby, a clinical psychologist who has helped hundreds of insomniacsincluding himselfgives you his Secrets of a Good Nights Sleep.Youll discover some fascinating facts about sleep, why it becomes a problem, and how you can overcome those sleepless nights. Why you lie awake when you long for sleep Why you wake up in the middle of the night The surprising sexual dimensions of sleep How to break the anxiety/worry habit How to adjust your bed for total relaxation Magic bedtime rituals to induce sleep Fabulous fantasies and techniqiues to put you in dreamland and much, much more!
Source: Goodreads
SPOILERS BELOW
For as long as I can remember, I have suffered from horrible insomnia. For a while now, I’ve been taking prescription sleeping pills to help me with that. Recently, though, I switched to a new health insurance provider. With that came a switch to a new doctor, one who was horrified that my previous physician had so casually prescribed such medication. Didn’t I know, he said, that an epidemic of overuse and abuse of such substances was ravaging the country? “But doctor,” said I, “are you sure you aren’t thinking of the opioid epidemic?” Sleeping pills, he said, could result in dependency if used over a significant period of time. “But doctor”, said I, “if by dependency you mean inability to sleep without them, I was dependent before I even started.” Such powerful hypnotics, he said, can have all sorts of serious side-effects. “But doctor,” said I, “I’ve never had any side-effects the whole time I’ve been taking these, let alone serious ones.” Don’t worry, he said, he had something better than medication: books. “But doctor,” said I, “I am the Great Clown Pagliacci.”
…Wait, no, wrong punchline. I said something about having already unsuccessfully tried various tricks from Internet listicles about “The 10 Best Ways to Fall Asleep Fast” and clickbaity headlines like that. But anyway, the long and the short of it is I got “prescribed” CBT-I, aka Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia, in the form of three books that I was assigned to read: Secrets of a Good Night’s Sleep by John Selby; Say Good Night to Insomnia by Gregg D. Jacobs, Ph.D.; and No More Sleepless Nights by Peter Hauri, Ph.D., Murray Jarman, and Hirley Linde, Ph.D. Since no more pills are coming, I resigned myself to reading them. After a short delay for shipping (and no, despite them being “prescribed”, my insurance didn’t cover their purchase as a medical expense), I have decided to commence reading in order of increasing number of Ph.D.s. Thus, we begin with Secrets of a Good Night’s Sleep.
In the foreword, the author says that he hopes this book will become a non-drug prescription which doctors can recommend to their patients. Well, you got your wish, at least in my case. It then says it has drawn insights from spiritual sources. Uh-oh: this isn’t going to be one of those twelve-step programs where it turns out every step is just “Embrace Jesus”, is it? Because I’m warning you right now, that’s a non-starter.
In chapter one, “Anatomy of a Good Night’s Sleep”, I get something actually useful in the form of an explanation of the different phases of sleep over the night. I remember always agonizing over my alarm clock, trying to set it to the latest possible time without being late so that I could get every last second of rest possible once I finally fell asleep; but this says that the most important type of sleep, delta sleep, only occurs within the first three hours after falling asleep, and the later hours aren’t as important. Knowing is half the battle! However, as if to make up for that brief moment of utility, it then proceeds to provide a meditation which is supposed to help with falling asleep. Step one is “become aware of your breathing without altering it”, which I can never manage. As soon as you call my attention to it, it’s on manual override; and then going back to natural breathing is like not thinking of an elephant: the harder I try, the less it works. I only stop breathing manually once I’ve been distracted enough to forget about it; and let me tell you, when you’re lying in bed staring at the ceiling of a dark room, distractions aren’t easy to come by.
Chapter two, “Too Many Sleepless Nights”, has a bit about identifying your type of insomnia. I’m a textbook Type 1: difficulty falling asleep when I first go to bed (as opposed to Type 2, fall asleep but wake up again shortly afterwards, or Type 3, fall asleep but wake up for the morning while it’s still pre-dawn). That was nice and easy. So now that you’ve helped me identify the type of problem I have, you’re going to tell me how to fix it, right? …Right?
Chapter three, “Primary Insomnia Sources”, lists a bunch of different causes for insomnia, like drugs, environmental stress, pain, stress at work, and expulsion from a social group. But none of those seem to apply to me.
Chapter four, “The Great Sleeping Pill Hoax”, is of course the book’s big tirade against sleeping pills. Well, they worked fine for me while I was on them, but I guess you gotta trash the competition if you’re hoping to sell this book as a replacement. Listen to this: “When insomniacs move from sleepless nights to drug-induced sleep, they are moving from a natural problem with emotional dependency to a chemical problem with drug dependency.” Listen, buddy: I didn’t have a chemical problem, I had a chemical solution. Arsenic and rattlesnakes are natural while air conditioning and indoor plumbing are artificial, and I know which I prefer. Why even have develop prescription medications if not to use them to improve the human experience? Better living through chemistry all the way for me.
Chapter five, “Sleeping Like a Baby”… who ever thought that was a good simile? Aren’t babies famous for waking up crying all the time, thus disrupting the sleep of their parents? Do you have any actual advice, or are you just regurgitating cliches?
Chapter six, “What Happens As We Grow Older”, is likewise not yet applicable to me. Though in its defense, it eventually will be, and it does have some actual useful information about how our sleep patterns change as we age. Tell you what: if I’m still alive and having trouble sleeping in 20 years, I’ll come back to this one.
Chapter seven, “Sexual Dimensions of Sleep” starts off with some actual information about the effects of sex and masturbation on sleep. However, it then goes into a bunch of advice which is aimed at people in relationships and thus not applicable for me. It also has the nerve to try shilling another of the author’s books, Finding Each Other. This book hasn’t exactly impressed me enough that I’m looking for further advice from the same wellspring of knowledge.
Chapter eight, “Break the Worry Habit”, says that anxiety can be a cause of difficulty falling asleep, particularly financial anxiety. Sounds promising. But then it goes on to assume that the cause of the problem is being an excessively competitive businessman who is obsessing over making yet more money despite possessing piles of cash already. I only wish that was my problem! Any advice for the rest of us? How about the financial anxiety that comes from working two part-time jobs with no benefits and no pension fund? No? Well, it’s clear now who your target audience is; no wonder this book felt overpriced. Incidentally, this section also contains a long screed on the evils of television. Jokes on you, pal: I don’t watch much television the days because I spend all my time on the computer.
Chapter nine, “Releasing Repressed Frustrations”, tries shilling another of the author’s books, Immune-System Activation. Lay off, pal; given what I’ve read so far, I can guarantee you’re never seeing another dime of my money.
Chapter ten, “Bedtime Rituals”, recommends coming up with a ritualized process of going to bed that you repeat every night. See, unlike the meditation stuff, this is something I can actually try. It also reminds me of Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown, which my parents read to me a lot when I was child. Chalk this up under the “potentially not a complete waste of time” column.
Chapter eleven, “Fantasies That Induce Sleep”, recommends going to bed wearing less. Personally, I’ve always found it easier to sleep with more heavy layers piled up on top of me, meaning summer is a lot less pleasant for me than winter. To the book’s credit, though, it extolls the superiority of comforters over sheets – way ahead of you there.
Chapter twelve, “Advanced Suggestions”, recommends getting a professional therapist. Way to pass the buck.
And we conclude with “Final Words”, which predictably, shills more merch: in this case, an audio cassette program. Not that the author is doing this in pursuit of filthy lucre, he assures us; no, he’s selling them at a loss. Practically cutting his own throat, he is! Uh-huh. Let’s bring this review to a merciful end.
So, the first of my three prescribed books didn’t impress me much. I’ll give a few pity points for imparting a few genuinely useful nuggets of wisdom and having patrician taste in comforters, but I am not overly confident that its wishy-wishy vaguely-spiritual “meditation exercises” will replace actual medication.
Ironically, this is a case where I can state a book is bad because it didn’t put me to sleep. But my advice is to save your money and let Secrets of a Good Night’s Sleep stay secret.
Final Rating: 2/5
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